Picture this. It's 3:30am and I have to be up for work in 2 hours. I haven't stayed up this late. In fact, I had my bath at 9pm and crawled into bed at 11pm like a little bitch and waited to drift off... That was, until I didn't drift off at all. I watched the clock trickle away until the early hours of the morn while I failed to get to sleep. I didn't have anything on my mind and I hadn't consumed large quantities of caffeine. Why the shitting tits was I not falling asleep?
Maybe that question was keeping me awake. Shitting tits? Nightmare for anyone. Disregard that for sanity. I've decided to venture onto my phone for some late night entertainment (not the stuff that requires tissues and low self-esteem), including Facebook (yay!) and some of my favourite websites. This was all a good idea until I re-realised that I have literally the most shitty, deceptive network coverage in the existence of mankind. Full signal 3G connection? So fuck because it doesn't want to load five bits of text and an image.
That's too difficult at this time of night.
So great. It's now 3:33am and I can't even at least enjoy the build up to my over-tired first day at work from an awesome week off. What makes it more horrible is the lack of common sense used when creating the Facebook app that I'm using. Sure, it can tell you how many notifications you have, and who the latest one was by, but clicking on that pop-up only displays the last set of notifications you ever loaded, refusing to load the new ones because the network can not be fucked to deal with the request. Great.
Let's play some fucking solitaire then. Going great until I realise the three games I have played are unwinnable. Y'see, it turns out this game puts a little star in the corner when a game is winnable. It uses the network to determine which games are winnable, and the games without this star is pretty much "Try your luck, cuntnugget". I think we can all see why I wanted to kick the shit out of some satellites this morning. I think I stumbled upon one winnable game in the next 20 minutes.
And holy shit I think I somehow managed to fall asleep. Only to be woken up by a text...
... That was timestamped for around 5pm. A text that I should have got about 10 hours ago has just woken me up because a mobile phone network provider can't get its shit together. Thank you very much, for those keeping count, it's taken me almost 5 hours more to fall asleep then I should have. THOSE FIVE HOURS WOULD HAVE BEEN AWESOME, FYI.