Saturday, 18 June 2011

Trolling Before the Internet

We all know what trolling is, it's a art and it's found it's current breeding ground on the internet. Awesome, I say. It's too easy as well, with all these Christi-cunts deciding to take their religion electronically, they provide easy targets on a larger scale if the pickings are slim. There's also YouTube.

Holy dicks people on YouTube react to anything that disagrees with their opinion. "Video sucks", "Kill yourself", "Why make this piece of shit?", "ur mom". They're all simple things to say yet the reactions can be priceless.

So... What the fuck did we do before the internet? Prank calls is an obvious one, but what did you achieve with that exactly? You annoyed someone, you didn't exactly hurt their feelings. And if you took the random phone number route the majority of phone calls were answering machines. And when you did get through, what could you say? You didn't know this person, and there's not a lot to attack when it's out of the blue and a total stranger.

The other choice you had was to immerse yourself in a discussion and then out of nowhere disagree with the majority. No anonymity, and there's too much physical pain at stake is there are some roid munchers in the group. There's also the fact that a lot of people can not keep a straight face for a shit. How are you going to convince everyone that you think abortion is the only answer when you can't help but laugh at your own (awesome) self?

Fuck that.

So where else does this leave you? You could write a letter. Awesome, right? Some fat fuck gets a letter, and gets all giddy, "what does it say?", he asks while chewing on his burger. He opens it up and it reads "you are fat, lol".

Day ruined.

The sucky part? You don't see the reaction, you don't see anything (unless you're looking through his window as he opens the letter, in which case, you're fucked up), and you can't feel his anger and frustration to get that little kick you want. You could leave your name and address (or better, someone else's) so some sort of response can be given. That would take out the anonymity part but fuck it. That's dedication.

There is another issue though. It's 2011 and it still takes a few days for letters to be sent and delivered. Back before the internet (which was before the 1800's, right?) I'm guessing this would be a lot slower. I know I would have forgotten about the letter I sent a few minutes later anyway, but the suprise of getting your reply would make it that much sweeter in retrospect.

So before the Royal Mail? Messenger pigeons. Sent to the kings and queen's of the enemy. Some princess cunt would get a pigeon turn up, shit herself from excitement, and read the troll-message, possibly saying "I'd rather suck my dad off instead of sleeping with you." In fact, how many wars do you think were started this way?

All of them.